Errrrrmmmm..... Stuff.

Evenin’

It’s Friday night, about 11.15pm and I’m on the bloody internet. How extremely fucking Rock n Roll, eh? Life in the slow lane. Alright.

Anyway, hello. Welcome to the first blog I’ve ever written and posted on this mass of whatever it is that answers to the name: “The Internet”.
Tragic really - the whole internet thing and, by virtue, the whole “Blogging” thing have sort of passed me by. And that’s really not all;

Myspace? Nope. Forums?? Not me. iTunes??? i’Ll pass. Chat-rooms???? Cheque please.

Barring a handful of websites I’ve visited regularly for many years (on a variety of subjects, farrrrrr too illuminating on my true [yet cunningly disguised and top-top secret] Uber-Geekery nature than I’m prepared to divulge here…. allow me to retain a modicum of mystique, please! After all, I am with the Band, you understand of course).

Heh-hem. Anyway - tangent. Sorry, I’m back.

Where was I?

Ah!

…… blah blah blah visited regularly for many years, my limited surfing range has changed very little – more of a brief wade in the shallow end, than surfing. Apart from Wikipedia (to which I was introduced a couple of years ago […and which *** K.I.C.K.S A.S.S. *** by the way, just so we’re clear. I love Wikipedia! Heap your scorn upon me - I care not!!!!]), I’ve never strayed far from the Metaphorical Beach.
And despite an evolving and constant love affair with music, dating back for as long as my enfeebled brain can handle nowadays, I’ve never been one for downloading it. Or films. Or games. Or anything really. Believe me - it’s not for fear of the criminality of it, which – let’s face it – is Bollocks.
In no way am I against the concept of downloading or file sharing; fuck, we’re HAPPILY giving our stuff away with a smile for free right now, if it gets people listening to it! Go nuts!! Fill yer boots!! Send it to your friends and family, spread the word… please!! =) But despite my absence from it over the years, in all seriousness - has there ever been a cheaper, easier, wider reaching or more effective promotional tool for a band than the Internet?? It should be any musicians wet-dream, surely?? Or is that just me? Is that naive? I’m sure there are numerous counter arguments but fuck it – it’s my blog.

Arrrgh….. tangent.

Sorry.

Anyway, it’s never been a conscious avoidance of the internet or anything like that; I really think it’s been a matter of convenience. Or more accurately; inconvenience.

When I look back on it, everywhere I’ve lived over the past 10 or so years has either had; no internet and/or wireless access, a seriously shitty computer (what a fucking pain when technology doesn’t do what it’s supposed to!!) or, more frequently, the computer is plonked in a really inconvenient location.
Stuck in a spare room, for example? The one that the heating is always knackered in? The general dumping ground for all the stuff you never use (or indeed remember you own) but can’t bear to be parted with when it comes to actually raking through the piles and chucking it all out; amidst the washing, the spare bed and bedding (…which I suppose has got to be under there somewhere…), the chaotic exploding bookshelves….
Invariably, somewhere within the cold, cluttered shadows of the surrounding Monoliths of “Stuff” (a.k.a. Crap) that you can’t bear to part with, sits the Computer itself. ALWAYS fucking housed in some faux “Office Environment”, replete with desk, shelves of files, every surface peppered with meaningless, long forgotten post-it notes and – of course - the mandatory, beyond uncomfortable (and if it’s not already it soon will be…) broken office-y type chair.

And here, in this environment (and more often than not – with *this* equipment), I am supposed to be able to sit down, relax and say… catch up with Series 4 of Lost, or something?? I want to kick back *here*, and listen to my latest batch of tunes?? Oh my God - and the speakers!?! Did I mention the speakers on my last PC?

Try and imagine the sound of six ants fighting in a disposable plastic cup.

Got it?

Yeah. Just like that.

Oh alright, that was probably a bit over dramatic, but hopefully you get the picture. The other thing that still puts me off downloading music in particular is – and maybe I’m a fucking Dinosaur here but – I really like CDs and I really like to own them.

Lots of them.

Personally, if I’m into a band, I want to see the whole product, the packaging, the works. I want to scrutinise all the artwork and the lyrics and The Everything that encapsulates and protects and compliments and embellishes this phenomenal Work of Aural Art by… who ever.

I suppose I’ve already owned up (…well, kind of owned up – Don’t take anything you read too seriously because I do have an image to maintain and cannot be trusted, D’ohn ch’yew know??)

**micro-tangent** Apologies. Onwards:

…. to being a bit of a Geek so with that being said, it probably can’t do too much further damage to step forward after all these years and finally admit:

“My name is Andy, and I always read all of the liner notes”

….Feels good to get that out there.


Yes, it’s now official. I am a fossil. Obsolete. I still want buy CDs. I’m lead to believe that’s how things are going now anyway, that the CD market is already heading towards The Bright Light, and the whole DRM/Stroppy Record Label thing, is the industry’s way of trying to talk itself awake and lucid until the ambulance gets to the hospital.

What the fuck am I talking about?

Regardless, I got myself a sexy new laptop a few weeks ago (hence this current, rather epic, Blogventure). So I can now relax wherever I like (sofa!!!), whenever I like (occasionally!!!) and everything’s coming up Milhouse, techno-wise. Maybe I should just take the plunge before it’s too late, before I get left behind forever by technology and a fear of the unfamiliar?

But fuck it – I’m still in love with CDs. It’s the … physicalness (…wtf?) of a CD. A connection is established, through physical sensation and physical interaction.

Oooooooooh…

Deep.


But OK - of course hurrah/well done/congratulations/you may now sleep at night – you bought a CD and that money’s going to go to the band. So you’re helping, right?! I mean, The “Pirates” (**sorry, mini-tangent** …Pirates? Pirates?? Pirates. Who started calling them Pirates? Does anyone else think of… you know, “Pirates” [Arrrrr! Avast!! and so on…] when they hear the word “Pirates”?

Just me?

Anyway…)



….The “Pirates”, they don’t do that! They don’t pay! They don’t contribute!! They just steal!

Yeah OK. But I’d be willing to bet that a majority of people will buy the CD once they’ve heard it (assuming they like it) for the physical connection. I would. Others that don’t, may go to gigs, pay for tickets, perhaps buy some merch? The band makes (more) money that way.

I’m pretty certain that the guy that doesn’t buy the CD, or the T-shirts, or go to the shows – whatever – I’m sure that guy, had downloading not been a possibility, would NEVER have gone out and shelled out money for the CD anyway. So what is that? Is it really lost revenue? OK, the guy gets a digital copy of the tracks but what about the artwork, DVD extras, lyrics etc. Surely that has a value too? This guy doesn’t get any of that. He wouldn’t buy it, even if he couldn’t get it for free. What’s really lost??

Fuck it. I have no idea. I give up. I’m sitting here rambling now about things I have not even the tiniest clue about now. That was a random little journey.

It’s a curious thing, this Blogging. Millions of people, all over the world just… waffling. I can see its appeal. Cathartic.

Not to end on a downer, but this week has been a personal Word Beater, an absolute fucking record breaker of a shitty, shitty week. Thank God it’s….well, Saturday morning now, but still sort of Friday. It’s My Blog. =)

I came on here with the intention of venting about something else entirely…. I appear to have forgotten about it completely and gone on to get thoroughly lost in my own head.

Should you have made it this far Gentle Viewer (bonus points for spotting that one), quite genuinely – very well done. You got further than I would have done if I’d have been you, and I Salute You.

Half a page, me. Max.

Hmmmmm, that was fun.

You may hear from me again.


Possibly.

a.